Open and vulnerable: being honest about the insecurities of growing my business

At times, being vulnerable is one of the best ways to shine your light. This post is all kinds of vulnerability. I believe this message is one that purpose-driven business owners need to receive, so here it goes…

I had this website for some time before I really started developing it. I blogged randomly, but I wasn’t putting my heart into it at first. 

Then, around September of 2015, I decided it was time to let go of a different website that didn’t really fit me, and start putting myself out there on Soul Print Path. 

Most months between September of 2015 and now, I’ve seen a slow but steady increase in blog readers and subscribers. Last night, out of curiosity, I did some research on the “average” amount of traffic a new blog “should be” getting. 

It's hard not to compare your progress to someone else's.

Numbers were all over the spectrum, but some bloggers reported high numbers of people coming to read their blogs, almost overnight. I started feeling a little down.

I write truthful, (and hopefully) useful stuff, and I take great care regarding the aesthetics of my website and blog posts. So I felt a little sad that my blog wasn’t reaching the high number of visitors that some other people reported reaching. 

I figured I must be doing something wrong.

I went to Amazon and started browsing Kindle books about improving my blog stats. I read review after review, all the while ignoring my inner wisdom’s whispers that I already know what I need to know to grow my business in ways that are right for me.

I came across a Kindle book that looked promising. Reading the reviews, I saw that the author had a podcast about blogging. Amazon book reviewers thought he knew his stuff, so I did a Google search and checked out his website.

Never ignore the inner voice of wisdom.

I tried to ignore my inner wisdom's voice, which was growing louder and more annoyed that I was so out of my energy in this space. I kept reading the webpage, noticing his tactics and taking in his claims about his fool-proof formulas.

His approach felt kind of manipulative to me.

I scrolled and read some more.

The tongue picture. Totally rad. Or not.

And then I saw a picture of him; he was posed with his tongue sticking out like an attention-seeking teenager on Facebook. 

Seriously? 

I clicked off and felt a little foolish for going there at all.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental. It’s up to every person how he chooses to show up in the world.

But for me, the whole “scream it from the rooftops and you too can make $10,000 while you sleep, and you’ll drive a fast car like me!” vibe goes against my reasons for being in business to begin with. 

I felt like I needed a shower. 

I thought… if I have to force myself to be in spaces that make me uncomfortable to learn what I’m doing wrong, I’d rather not learn what I’m doing wrong. 

Sometimes an affair of the heart clouds common sense because it matters so much.

Then it hit me… I don’t have to aspire to someone else’s definition of success. That sounds so common sense but sometimes when something’s so close to your heart, you fail to see what’s right in front of you. 

I might not ever want or need to gain the same number of readers that some bloggers claim.

Why?

Because I’m a fringe person. And I connect with people who color outside the lines. I love that community.

I teach purpose-driven business owners to attract clients in ways that buck the mainstream. I am a think-outside-the-box being… a wonderfully unique mix of hippie, geek and intuitive teacher. 

I know that my community is smaller than mainstream. So it stands to reason, my blog stats might be smaller than someone’s who fits within that box and that’s okay.

And then an even more powerful realization happened. 

I want a smaller but highly engaged community. Just like my family and I prefer a small and cozy house instead of a McMansion. Just like I’d rather have 2 outfits I adore than 20 that are so-so. 

All that worrying about how my blog “should be” doing went out the window. 

My blog should be doing exactly as it’s doing. 

I’ll continue to nurture and tend it. I’ll continue to focus on serving my community of purpose-driven entrepreneurs.

I’ll keep being me and supporting you.

At the end of the day, I do this because I believe you can make an abundant living doing work you love. I want to be part of your doing that. That’s work I love.

If I find that I need to learn new things (and there’s always things to learn), I’ll honor myself by choosing teachers who feel comfortable for me. 

If you can take some inspiration from this, I am honored. 

I wanted to show up transparent and vulnerable in this post. 

I wanted to tell you that we're all figuring this out together. 

Insecurity is part of growing a business rooted in passion and purpose. Feel into it and nurture what needs love. Release what needs freedom. 

And love yourself through it all.

2-Minute Takeaway (Journal Prompt): What’s your biggest insecurity right now? Right an affirmation, grounded in your inner wisdom, to heal what needs healing and nurture what you want to grow. 

Love,