What if the very thing you believe you aren't capable of doing is the lantern through which you're meant to shine your light?
I was proud of the skirt I just bought at the mall. It was a few sizes bigger than I used to wear but it looked good on me… I thought. I stepped out of the bathroom to show my mother, much the same way I used to when I was a little girl. I suppose in ways, I was still very much that little girl hoping to finally gain my mother’s approval. To be found beautiful and worthy in her dark eyes.
I remember how quickly the smile faded from my thirty-something face as she told me how much she disliked that skirt on me. Sarcasm dripped from her lips as she told me it was “up to me” but she just didn’t “care for it”. Having already mastered the art of not showing hurt feelings, I came back with something sarcastically dismissive and went to change.
The skirt found a home at the back of my closet and I had no plans of ever wearing it and looking so ugly again. But one evening I was running late for a class I was taking and most of my wardrobe was in the washer. Reluctantly, I reached for the skirt and pulled it over my hips. With a quick, critical once-over in the dressing mirror, I headed to my class feeling sure someone would be inwardly rolling their eyes at my poor choice in clothing.
As I hurriedly entered the building, a woman stopped me on the stairs. She wanted to tell me how much she loved my skirt. What? I thanked her and she went on to say, “It looks like it was just made for you.” As I continued downstairs and to my class, I could barely conceal the happiness I felt. Later, as I sat in reflection of what happened, a healing realization washed over me.
We all have a “skirt” that we keep hidden in the deepest corner of our closet. Something that we were once so innocently proud of… so rightfully excited about… until someone we deemed wiser than ourselves corrected our perception and taught us that this thing was not for us. And so we believe that, and we become a little less confident and a lot more willing to accept that we are less than we are. If you are hiding your “skirt” because someone convinced you it wasn’t “for you”, I invite you to reconsider. Dust it off and pull it back over your hips. Step back into your power, into the thing you used to be excited about. In the end, it really doesn’t matter if someone (or hundreds of someones) hate it. It matters that there are others who will appreciate it, who perhaps need you to show up in all your delicious realness. If you are drawn to it and it feels truly right, it is for you. I love that skirt. I really do.
2-Minute Takeaway (Journal Prompt): Think back to a time when you were hurt by someone else's comments about something you loved. What does your inner knowing want to tell you about that situation?